How Does Our Brain Decide Whom We Can Trust?
Trust is the foundation of leadership. If you don't have trust, you have nothing to offer. How do leaders earn respect? By making balanced decisions, acknowledging their mistakes, and putting the interests of their followers and organization above their personal interests.
«The 21 Irrefutable Laws of Leadership»
John Maxwell
Trust is not just an abstract concept, but a complex neurophysiological process involving hormones, neural networks, and evolutionary survival mechanisms. Here is how it works at the brain level.
In what ways can trust be built?
- Use "oxytocin triggers"Oxytocin increases altruism, empathy, and willingness to cooperate.
How to stimulate?- Eye contact (but not too long, to avoid a display of power and dominance).
- Open gestures (palms up) or physical contact (handshake, pat on the shoulder).
- Shared rituals, such as team games or coffee breaks.
- Kind words, sincere compliments, and gratitude. It is important here not to slide into flattery or manipulative behavior.
- Activate dopamineDopamine is the "reward hormone."
How to stimulate?- Make small promises and fulfill them immediately. If a person keeps promises, the partner's brain receives a dopamine "plus"—and trust grows.
- Link trust with positive reinforcement. Encourage even the small successes of the team.
- Reduce amygdala activityThis part of the brain assesses risk when contacting new people. It’s like a car alarm. It screams "Danger!" if something is suspicious. You see a stranger offering "miracle pills." The amygdala "shouts": "It's a scam!"
How to work with this?- Avoid sudden changes in rules. Be faithful to your promises and their fulfillment.
- Speak the language of facts rather than emotions.
- Work with the prefrontal cortexIt is responsible for reputation analysis and long-term forecasts. It’s like the "chief boss" in your head. When you meet someone, it analyzes: Is he lying? Can he be relied upon? Is it dangerous to deal with him?
Your "frontal computer" remembers:
✔ If people fulfilled promises before → "Can trust."
✖ If they often deceived → "Be careful."
How to work with this?- Show logical cause-and-effect relationships: "If we do X, the result will be Y."
- Be specific: not "we will try," but "we will do it by November 15."
- Demonstrate expertise (certificates, cases). Self-confidence and the presentation of material are important here. However, expectations regarding expertise criteria can vary significantly between people.
- Consider the work of mirror neuronsThese are cells that copy the emotions of others. How does this help with trust? Someone cries → your neurons "mirror" the sadness → you feel sorry for them. Someone laughs sincerely → you smile too → trust appears.
How to work with this?- Familiarity works well here: repeat the interlocutor's gestures (this reduces subconscious tension), use familiar phrases, shared space, and things that evoke nostalgia and pleasant memories.
The brain remembers whom to trust and whom not to—like tracks in the snow. If you were often deceived, the brain "lays a path" → "Everyone lies!". If people were honest → a "trust path" appears. This is why it is so important to value trust. There are exceptions involving problems in the ventromedial cortex. Usually, this happens after a stroke or sometimes simply "from birth." But don't count on them! Our brain is like a "lie detector" and an "emotional mirror." It learns from experience and decides whom to trust.
